Thursday, December 26, 2013

Related by Chance, Family by Choice

The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man’s life.
Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were “bad” were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith.
Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she—and they—are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share.
This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb’s one motivating objective is to help women-in-law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.

What an amazing book,  it is a book about relationships, and that of specifically of the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law relationship.
I really liked the way the author makes us view the relationship; is it law or love?  If we look at the relationship from the love aspect… that is mother-in-love or daughter-in-love, how much easier would that make the relationship?
This is a wonderful book for young women looking to get married, or in a relationship, to help build her relationship to her spouse’s mother, and good for mother’s to read for help with a relationship with their son’s wife, or girlfriend.
I like the format of the book, at the end of every chapter there is a “tip sheet” and a self-assessment for the reader to go through.   I think that this book can be read alone, or done in a group, or  a mother-in-law to daughter-in-law could go through this together, to bring them closer.
It is written based on scripture, and written according to Titus chapter 2.
Well done!

I received this book free from the publisher . I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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